“I am an old man and have known a great many troubles, but most of them never happened.”  ~Mark Twain

We make up most of our troubles and anxieties in our mind.  We assume the worst will happen and we prepare for it.  Consequently, we develop habits that enable it.  But remember, the future situation that causes anxiety is usually never as bad as expected.

There is no reason to jump the gun on disaster; scramble after you hear the bang not before.  When we scramble before, we end up picking up the pieces to something that is not actually broken…do not fix things until they are properly broken.

Norman Vincent Peale, author of The Power of Positive Thinking reminds us that a person often yields to discouragement that is not justified by the facts. It is vitally essential to reappraise your personality assets. When done with an attitude of reasonableness, this evaluation will convince you that you are less defeated than you think you are. Peale mentions a therapist in his book who says, “Many of my patients have nothing wrong with them except their thoughts.” The battle with the mind is not to be taken lightly, but neither are the ramifications of an overactive imagination that turns every little spark into a conflagration.

It is easy to feel defeated when your expectations are not met.  Anxiety is born out of the notion that something will not go according to your plan.  We can decrease the impact when we factor in Murphy’s Law with an allowance for doubtful accounts and a threshold for tolerable error.  Both of these essentially give you permission to make mistakes and accept the mistakes of others, to a certain degree.  This does not mean throw out established plans and ignore the need for future planning. Instead, staple each written plan to a permission slip that you have locked away in your mind.  The permission slip is there to tell you that it is okay if your plan does not work out. Pete Wilson talks about the subject of shattered dream in his book, Plan B.  He reminds us that things rarely go the way we think they should, which could be to our advantage.

Do not be anxious about anything (Philippians 4:6a).  We cannot add a single hour to our lives by worrying (Luke 12:25a).  Keep in mind that the goal is not to eliminate all of our worries but to diminish them, especially the ones that are not justified. Here is a list that will help:

1. Evaluate your expectations and lower them if necessary. Some men are not made to play professional sports and some women are not made to model bathing suits, it’s no big deal. Do not dwell on it; adjust your personal goals and expectations.
2. Give yourself permission to make mistakes. Set goals, write a plan and try your best, but do not beat yourself up if things do not go the way you planned.
3. Quickly redirect your negative thoughts to something positive.  Take captive every thought (I Corinthians 10:5).  The poet Edmund Spenser said, “It is the mind that makes good or ill, that makes wretch or happy, rich or poor.”  It is up to you to control your mind.
4. Do not indulge in comforts when going through tough times. Do not put the saddest song in your MP3 player on repeat for days.  Do not watch sad movies and eat mint chocolate chip ice cream over and over. If a fire of anxiety is burning you do not want to throw more logs on top.
5. Limit the number of times you are talking about the things you are worrying about. The people at the grocery store and the people you meet at the gym do not need to know about your worries.  If you are going to talk about it, talk to people who could legitimately help you get through it; otherwise you are only throwing logs on the fire.
6. You will not be healed over night. Give yourself a reasonable amount of time to effectively shift your way of thinking. This may take a month for some and a few years for others.